I was at the store today to buy an item. A man was at the front of the queue, another lady in front of me and a man behind me. The first man offered the lady in-front of me to pay since she was only buying a chocolate. He took a look at me and quickly faced the till. The man behind me shrugged and said to me “You are holding one item, she was holding one, why can’t he allow you as well?” He went further to say, it’s because you are black. The guy talking to me was black too. I smiled
On my way home, I began to reflect on the scenario. I didn’t see it the way the man saw it. My thought at that point was that if he decided to start giving every one a place in front of him, then he might not leave the store today.
I also began to reflect on how far I have come with my thought process, how I see my self as black living in a foreign land, how I react when someone gives me a funny look and how I smile when another sitting beside me stand up to sit else where on the tram. I also remembered that it all changed the day I came to the realization that “I am responsible for me”, I have come to understand perfectly that I will get hurt when I allow it and will also remain happier depending on how I see the situation.
Emotions !!! They are hard to cheat, but I am just learning very hard not to allow them over-ride me and at the same time I have come to realize that God is the ultimate, nonetheless He has given me sovereign over how I control my thinking, my behavior and actions.
Who is responsible for you? YOU ARE…
You are responsible for why the man/woman still abuses you, responsible for being laid-back, responsible for how you react to that situation and responsible for the response you give when you are pissed. My very good friend shared with me that in life,”we have to do what is best for our existence, the ability to let our life goes smooth has been entrusted to us”. Use it.