Restoring Trust is essential in any failed relationship
I was zipping up my son’s jacket recently and the zip caught his flesh below his neck because I was zipping fast. He gave a loud cry and I apologized. He was to continually remind me of my mistake because anytime I want to zip up for him, he shows fear and would start crying even before I start. I said to myself, he must have found it painful that day.
When I realized this was the case, I simply told myself that my son does not trust me when it comes to zipping up for him, so I have to ensure I restore this trust.
Every morning or anytime I want to zip up for him, I will say to him first, “I am so sorry for the other day. It won’t happen again, now come closer and let me zip it up gently”. I could still see he was showing a little fear but it was getting better. Later I would ask him to close his eyes, saying to him at the same time trust me and I will gently zip up. He got used to closing his eyes eventually and I found him one day saying to his brother when he was showing resistance to me zipping up for him, “trust mum, you will be fine”.
Here is my question:
What are you doing to ensure you restore trust in your relationships?
You cheated on your spouse, you were caught, promised it won’t happen again, yet you carry your phone on your neck, you receive your calls in isolation, you leave the house and your better half cannot say this is where you are and you still expect him/her to trust you?
You betrayed your best friend, yet you are still showing elements that you would repeat the same thing and you expect him/her to trust you.
You did the same I did with my boy with your child and rather than apologize and ensure you do not do the same again, you scream at the child, is that the reason why you are crying?
People often say that we do not command respect but we earn it. It is the same with trust. We have to earn people’s trust in order for them to continually trust us or restore trust when need be.
A popular quotes says trust is like a paper, once crumbled, it can’t be perfect, but I beg to differ because it can be perfect again but only if the party who needs to change can really prove beyond reasonable doubt that they can be trusted again.
You can do it