Forgive but live your life with boundaries
It is time for many of God’s children to be liberated and delivered from the oppressor – Unforgiveness.
Forgiveness prevents us from breaking forth in life and living life with boundaries is one very important way we can live everyday life in forgiveness.
One of the reasons we become and remain bittered is because those who led us to that point of bitterness did not offend us once. For some of us, they did not even offend us twice but for as long as we allowed them.
This makes forgiveness hard. When offenses are recurring, it is hard to forgive or come to a place of rest. Absolutely difficult.
This is why I encourage boundaries in everyday life.
Someone was taking something from me for a while, way back as an undergraduate. I decided to deprive them the opportunity and I heard they told another person, they were actually waiting to see how long I would be foolish for.
Most evil doers, offenders, and abusers, are aware they are. How long are you going to help them fuel their habit?
Live your life with boundaries. Remove yourself from situations that affects you negatively. For those who have decided to bring you down, be far from them. Stop paying attention to them.
In addition, boundaries makes communication effective.
When people who have been treating you the way you do not like, sees you rejecting their disrespectful behaviour, through the necessary boundary you are creating or you have created, they get the message. For this set of people, this is when they realize you are actually communicating. They either start respecting you or walk away.
Selfish people are the most difficult to deal with. They are not willing to help you when you need them but they know how to make demands and get you to submit to their requests. You find yourself imprisoned because you do not want to say no, so it would not appear you are repaying them in like manner.
With this group of people, you have to call them and talk to them. Have verbal communication to find out if you share the same interests. If they are very selfish, they will be unrepentant, they will move on from using you and unfortunately find another prey.
Brené Brown shared “when we fail to set boundaries and hold people accountable, we feel used and mistreated“;
Another person shared anonymously “Lack of boundaries invites lack of respect“;
Mandy Hale “It is necessary, and even vital, to set standards for your life and the people you allow in it“; and
Henry Cloud crowned it and I love what he said “Boundaries defines us. They define what is me and what is not me. A boundary shows me where I end and someone else begins, leading me to a sense of ownership. Knowing what I am to own and take responsibility for gives me freedom“
Make a decision to create that special place in your heart that no one can violate.
I sincerely pray that God will help you ride each day as you embark on your journey of forgiveness.
Finally, do not forget the boundaries God marked for us. When we read, and you shall not……and much more. Those are His boundaries.
I pray you will gain a better understanding of forgiveness.
I pray the little seeds I have planted in your hearts will take root and bring you understanding you will come back to share with me and other people.
Above all, I pray the peace of God will rule in your heart.
Amen
Shalom
Feyikemi
