I had the privilege of being at a dinner where I met two young ladies. We got chatting. One of them had her natural hair, so soft and beautiful. The other asked questions on her journey to having such a beautiful natural hair and I watched them talk endlessly about it. So the other lady made a decision to grow her hair naturally.

She looked at me for comments and I said Oh I can’t. My hair is too thick and I will be punishing myself if I decide to go natural. I also shared with them that I put chemical on my hair once a year, during the summer period. Other times, I have it weaved, fixed or braided.

The lady who just made the decision of growing her hair naturally, went on to tell me how I need to embrace who I am, my background and my culture. As for her, she has made that decision and there is no going back.  I listened of course.

Our paths crossed from time to time because of the nature of work we do and I could see she had indeed started the journey of going natural with her hair. Sometimes I will ask her how the process is going, she would respond positively and at the same time, saying to me  “you should try it, you can do it if you are someone who has focus and determination”.

On this occasion that inspired my writing about it, I saw her and it appears she does not want me to see her but I just ignored that scene. Finally I saw her again with her hair relaxed and I asked, you relaxed your hair? The response was oh yes, I thought I could do it but it was so hard to keep it natural, as she was always in pain, coupled with the stress of taking good care of the hair.

Now is this you? Always pushing your self to do what you do not have the capacity to do. Doing things that is not genuinely you? Perhaps because it feels good at that time, you feel it would define who you are or perhaps join the queue of those doing it?

See,  you are not your mother, sister, brother, father, girlfriend, boyfriend, colleague, acquaintance, wife, husband, or best friend.

You are simply you.

The truth is you might not know who you are and so, it may be difficult to be yourself. So, here are 3 simple ways to knowing who you are and subsequently being yourself:

1. Pay attention and become aware of your thoughts. Through them you find your strengths and you know your weaknesses. Knowing your thoughts will also help you to be aware of the quality of your thinking. Are they pure desire thoughts or otherwise?

2. Always follow your instinct and  be aware of ‘re occurring patterns and that will help you stay on track with your life in General. It starts from little things. I have become self aware that wigs are not good for me. I have tried wearing them over and over again but each time, I have this bad headache that I cannot in the world explain. I finally settled it with my inner mind that this is not me, no matter how beautiful the wig is.

3. And finally, stay in touch with your self. This will help you not to suppress your true nature. Constantly find the truth about your self and remind yourself of who you are.